A Little (Or a Lot) on Labels

So, recently I decided to write down everything I was feeling about who and what I was, and ended up writing quite a bit more than I'd expected. Here are some snippets of a few relevant things for this class, such as: names that I've used/preferred, pronouns, orientation labels, etc...

"My biological name is Patricia Leeann McGown. I am biologically female. I was born on December 10, 1992 to a Christian background. Almost exactly two years later, my brother was born. During my life so far, all seventeen years, I’ve learned a lot about who and what I am. It’s been a long, drawn out process. I’ve done some stuff that I’m not exactly proud of, and I lie a lot to hide from the things that I’m ashamed of.

Over the years, I’ve acquired quite a set of pseudonyms and nicknames that I’ll answer to. Some of them are from the internet, some of them make sense, and some of them are from God knows where in my mind. Here’s all the ones I remember right now:

• Tricia
• Trish
• Tish-Tish
• Patty
• Pa
• Trishy
• Squishy Trishy
• Clarke Alessane
• Reppy
• Dear
• Lonnie Leeann
• Leanna Crescent
• Clarke Classified
• Drew

I was in eighth grade when I discovered the Gay Straight Alliance in my school. Up until then, I’d been a Christian, in the Club for Christ, and I was everything a mother would ask for. I was a girl, I acted like one, I played feminine sports like volleyball, and I wore my hair long when I could, otherwise I curled or flat ironed it every morning. I was a straight girl. And then I realized that I liked girls. It was actually a very sore thumb moment. I remember waking up one morning and thinking to myself, “You’re going to Hell because you don’t just like boys.” That one was a shock, and I kept it to myself all through high school. Well, from my parents at least.

I started the coming out process (as bisexual) somewhere toward the end of my eighth grade year. I came out to Caroline, Gabby, Elena, and a couple other close friends. And then, at eighth grade promotion, I decided to tell Christine B. that I had a crush on her. She said she was flattered. I also begged her not to tell anyone because my family would find out, and I was terrified of that. And then summer came, and I ignored school for a straight three months. Everything was fine. I was happy and accepting of myself. I started looking up being bisexual and educated myself about the community. I came back from summer ready for high school.

Except when I started coming to summer volleyball practices, I noticed that I was being avoided. Nobody patted me on the butt when I made a fantastic block or crushed in practice. I saw girls doing it to everyone but me. I got no high fives, no butt pats, not even good jobs. When we took water breaks, I would go to the girl’s locker room to drink my water, otherwise the girls would look at me funny and not use the water fountain after me. So I finally asked someone. The response I got was, “We know you like girls, Tricia.” I was astounded. How did everyone know? I talked to Caroline, who talked to a couple other people, and we realized that Christine B. had told Laura W. that I was bisexual, and Laura told the entire tennis team, who, over the summer, had managed to tell everyone who was an entering freshman that I liked girls.

Not the greatest way to start off freshman year. So I was alone. I ate alone. There was no Gay-Straight Alliance. I thought, if this is what it’s like to be bisexual, I hate it. I joined the water polo team freshman year. The plus side to freshman year was water polo. Nobody seemed to care who I liked.

Starting my sophomore year, I was determined not to let my sexuality be the reason I had no friends. I started to tell people when I met them that I was bisexual until the whole school knew, and I became the president of the Gay-Straight Alliance. I worked with it for three years and set it up so that I would still be involved, no matter what. Which, coincidentally, meant that I was doing a lot of research about sexuality. Sometime between my sophomore and junior year in high school, I discovered pansexuality and things started to make sense. I’d heard of trans people, and I wondered who exactly would love them. I thought that I would if I could, and I realized that I did. Pansexuality seemed to just slip into place better than bi, and I was, by the end of my junior year, calling myself a pansexual girl, but I also said that I was a gay man in a gay woman’s body. I had no idea how true that was.

Senior year came and went, and college started. At Occidental, I realized how easy it was to be me. I could discover myself without the fear of being labeled. I could cut my hair short if I wanted to, wear what I wanted, and say what I wanted about myself without being shut down. So I did. I wear my hair short, I refer to myself in sometimes feminine pronouns, and sometimes masculine. I have discovered what I am, even if it’s got a lot of labels. I am the following:

• panromantic
• demisexual (or, more correctly to the asexual community, a “grey A”)
• transgender (in that I am bi-gendered/genderqueer)
• female-bodied, androgyne-identified (aka: biologically female, but feels androgynous...most days)
• queer
• African-American
• Irish

But more importantly, I am human. I deserve the same rights that everyone should have. I want to be able to get married to whomever I fall in love with, with the pronouns that the both of us prefer (at the time, forever, whatever [it shouldn’t matter]). I should be able to get married to whomever I fall in love with.

The labels shouldn’t be important to me.

I am a part of the LGBTQQIAAPD+ community, and damn it, I’m proud of who I am. I refuse to hide me anymore. I’m out to my parents as bisexual. I did it. That’s the big one, right? I did it. I’m out to my friends. I’m out on campus.

I am Patricia/Tricia/Lonnie/Clarke/Drew/Whatever I feel like calling myself, and I’m human.

It’s taken me seventeen years, eleven months, and fifteen days to say it, write it all down, understand, and accept it."

This is what labels have done in and with my life. Now, if we were to take a moment to think about what labels are doing for all kinds of other people in the world right now, what kind of a place would this be?

PS, this is a super interesting article (10 pages long, but worth your time when you have some) on Theories of Sexual Orientation. Take a look!

Holy Homosexuality...Batman?

Batman (Bruce Wayne) and Robin (all three of them, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, and Tim Drake) a.k.a the Dynamic Duo, are the most well known superhero-sidekick pair in comic books and other media. Writers love to focus on their bond, which has been interpreted as a father-son relationship over the year. Yet, a recurring joke that comic book fans and literary analysts sometimes focus on is a bond deeper than father and son. In fact, the two have been accused of homosexuality over the years.

It all started with a psychiatrist named Dr. Fredric Wertham who criticized the "harmful" effects of comic books in a book called Seduction of the Innocent (1954). In this book he accused Wonder Woman as being a sexist symbol, horror comics inspiring "juvenile delinquency" and Batman and Robin of being a homosexual pair after interpreting this scene. Ever since his interpretation of the Dynamic Duo as a homosexual couple, readers and the public began to consider the possibility. This drastically affected the comic book in the 50's and 60s because DC (Batman's publishers) forced changes to make the characters "appear straight." They introduced Batgirl to give Batman a new love interest (even though it never worked between them) and made Dick Grayson (the first Robin) move to college. The writers even brought Ace the Bat Hound and introduced the Bat-Mite (a trickster from the 5th Dimension like Superman villain Mister Mxyzplk) to create a "Batman Family."

These changes turned a previously gritty comic book and the gritty character Batman into a situational comedy and main punchline respectively. Because of an unfounded accusation that Batman and Robin were gay, the comic book franchise was almost ruined because of the campy "Batman Family." It was saved when the darker roots of Batman were reintroduced in the 70's and 80's. To put things in a larger perspective, our culture of over-analysis tends to place things out of context. Homosexuality was not linked with Batman until Dr. Wertham introduced the concept between specifically those two. He did not accuse Captain America and his former sidekick Bucky or Aquaman and Aqualad of homosexuality, thus their sexuality has never been questioned whereas a humorous scene involving Batman will be taken out of context and interpreted as gay.

The recurring drama of the possibility that Batman and Robin are homosexual lovers has almost ruined the franchise twice, once in the 50's and 60's, and again in the 90's when Batman and Robin hit the silver screen in 1997. Film director Joel Schumacher, who is gay, introduced campy and homoerotic concepts in the film (such as including uncharacteristic nipples on Batman and Robins' costumes) which undermined the seriousness of the characters. Since that film, no media has depicted Batman and Robin as homosexuals or in campy way, although these elements remain a recurring yet harmless joke.

PSA of the Future... and President Chuck Norris

This is a video that I watched a few weeks ago. I laughed and showed it to anyone who would watch, but other than that did not really think about it. Analyzing this video now, I can't figure out if this is offensive or enlightening. This is a parody of those in today's society who have a tendency to take things to the extreme, but it could also be a disturbing look into what homosexuality means to those who are against homosexuality or very defensive about their own sexuality. I personally would like to think of it as a satirical remark on certain extremists who advocate against anything to do with homosexuality. But I can't help but think about the whole "grain of truth" thing. With all of the advances with gay rights in the past few years, could this be a fear that extremists actually have?

A Villain's Sexuality

As I read fellow blogger Hanna White's post "Homosexuality in the Media of Different Cultures" I recalled a comic book character whose sexual actions are somewhat ambiguous. His name is Daken and he is the long lost son of Wolverine, the infamous 120 year old mutant member of the X-Men and the Avengers.

Daken's history is a tragic and violent one. He was born with the name Akihiro in the 1940's as the illegitimate son between Canadian Wolverine (also known as Logan) and a Japanese woman named Itsu. His mother was killed by an assassin who was targeting Logan at the time and he was cut from the womb of the dying mother by a shadowy villain named Romulus. Romulus, who had tormented Wolverine from behind the scenes, gave him up to a Japanese family in a small village where he was tormented by other children for his biracial heritage. They gave him a racial slur which became his nickname "Daken". Because of the hate and prejudice he encountered, he grew up with a resentment of the world. His hatred of the world combined with his mutant powers (genetically inherited by his father) of bone claws and his healing factor led him to becoming a dangerously violent villain. He killed his parents when they tried to abandon him and he worked as an assassin for decades never aging thanks to his healing factor. He also had a burgeoning hatred for his father Wolverine, who was unaware at the time that he had a son because his memories of the past were wiped out by government program Weapon X. It would be years later when he met his father (who regained his memories) and the two confronted each other. In the mean time Romulus manipulated through torture and training Daken turning him into a relentless killing machine.

Daken is not the first LGBT comic book character introduced but he is the most fascinating. For example, in one issue he emotionally pushes a woman to commit suicide when he reveals that he had sex with her husband. His homosexuality is also evident when he kisses his Dark Avengers teammate Bullseye in an effort to calm him down while they fight the Asgardians. Later when he fights the Fantastic Four's thing, he manipulates him through pheromones while goading him with homoerotic remarks. Readers can assume that Daken is obviously homosexual but this might not be the case. For example, when teammate Hawkeye (Bullseye in disguise) questions Daken's dual membership in the Dark Avengers and the Dark X-Men Daken simply responds "I always did like playing for both teams". This double entendre is evident when he is sexually involved with women in other issues only to manipulate them into doing his bidding.

To explain Daken's sexuality one must understand his personality. He is a victim of society's prejudice against mutants and a victim to emotional manipulation by a shadowy being he could not resist. He has been for his entire life subject to the bidding of Romulus. So, Daken simply uses his sexuality to manipulate others into doing his own bidding. Like his master he is not above cruelty as he has sadistically damaged the emotions of his victims often forcing them to commit suicide. As "Wolverine" writer Daniel Way explains, "He is no more homosexual than heterosexual. It's about control." Because Daken never received love from anyone and only experienced pain and suffering, he is completely incapable of giving love. As a result, his sexuality is not an expression of love or desire, but simply a weapon he uses for cruelty and sadism.

"Fag Bashing & Slut Shaming"

Fag Bashing & Slut Shaming: It’s About Policing Gender Roles

"I’m not going to argue that there aren’t any general trends in gender differences, although I do think that many things that we usually consider masculine or feminine are culturally based. Even for the things that show a statistically-significant difference between men and women, there are still plenty of people who have characteristics that are less common for people of their sex. People are not bell curves.

This is why we need to make room for gender diversity. Not only isn’t gender an either/or, it’s not even on a spectrum. The spectrum model, while allowing for more possibilities, still presents it as a zero-sum experience. It makes it seem as if, the more you have of one, the less you must have of the other. That approach reifies and reinforces the idea that there’s an opposition."

This is a view of an old issue - the ever present slut/sexy double standard for women - with a new twist that includes gender identities. I've heard a lot of people arguing over the issue, or simply grumbling about it, but mostly the conversation was about sex and not gender.

Thinking of it now, the topic of gender identity has always been lurking under the surface. It's integral to the debate of how we view and label the sexuality of others based on their sex and, now that I realize it, their gender identity.

The article also has some pictures along the way which I think are books dealing with similar topics, so if you're absolutely captivated you'll know where to go.