Afghan girls pretending to be boys

I read an interesting article in the New York Times about how many Afghan families are fooling society into thinking that they have a son by treating treating their daughters like boys. They are not referred to as son or daughter, but instead "bacha posh" which means "dressed up as a boy." 

In Afghan, boys are seen as much more important and are highly prized. Mothers face immense pressure to conceive a male child, and people will pity them if they have only daughters. Mothers who don't want to have another child, like a woman named Azita Raffat, who wanted instead to advance her political career, decided to change her daughter into a son. She introduced the idea of being a boy by saying, "Do you want to ... do more fun things like boys do, like bicycling, soccer, and cricket?" 

The gender roles in Afghanistan are much more pronounced and strict than they are in the U.S., and these girls-turned-boys are able to practice "masculine" traits such as athleticism, aggressiveness, and defiance without fear of breaking cultural norms. Mrs. Raffat says of her daughter, "[She has] adopted all the boys' traits very soon ... the attitude, the talking. She has nothing of a girl in her." This of course implies that "girl" traits are submissiveness, obedience, and subdued.


It was interesting to read about how these girls, raised as boys, had to eventually change back as they went through puberty and their bodies changed. They had to start wearing burqas and learn how to socialize with women. The girls interviewed in this article were not particularly happy about changing back. A woman named Shukria Siddiqui was raised a boy until her parents arranged a marriage for her.  She refers to her male years as her "best times" because she was able to be more outspoken. The man she married allows her to wear trousers around the house sometimes because he knows it makes her happier (cue for the "aww"). He once tried to beat her, but never tried it again after she hit him back. Retaliation is seen as a masculine trait and is taboo for a woman to exhibit. 


Unlike in the United States where defying gender roles is becoming more of the social norm and can have more to do with personal choice and preference, in Afghanistan, your gender identity can make or break your economic welfare. A ten year old girl named Miina dresses like a boy and works to earn money for her family. Being a boy is the only way for her to work, as girls are not allowed to. Having a son also increases the family's status in society, if only temporarily. 


To be a male in Afghanistan is to command respect, be able to work and earn money, to have more freedoms. One girl-turned-boy says she would rather be a boy and doesn't want to change back: "People use bad words for girls. They scream at them on the streets. When I see that, I don't want to be a girl. When I am a boy, they don't speak to me like that." She is the same person; it is just her gender that decides how society will treat her. 


Pictures here.